Raising Hannah
by A Crazy girl with a Crazy life
Summary: Rachel and Puck's adventures in raising their daughter Hannah. Add Auntie Santana, and you got a whole load of trouble. Let the havoc begin.
1. Prologue: A Badass is born

**This is Puck's and Rachel's Adventures in raising me. This came to me after me and my mom were watching the Blame it On the Alcohol episode (for the millionth time, it's our favorite episode), and she remarked how much I was like Puck, since I'm wild, I love to party, and I even slightly look like him, except my hair isn't as dark, yet I could be as sweet as Rachel. My last name may not be Puckerman, but Hannah May is really my name. My last name? It's classified.**

**Sorry for the spelling. My cousin usually reads over my fanfics and betas them(Thats one of the pros of living next door to family who go on Fanfiction), but she couldn't. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own_Glee. _If I did _, all _the guys would be shirtless. And if I did, all the Finchel in season three will be replaced by Puckleberry. **

**Did anybody see the new episode? I'm scared to. If Rachel says yes, I don't think I'll watch Glee anymore. But I know that's a lie. **

**Prologue **

"Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you! Fuck you Noah Puckerman!" Rachel screamed, panting. This brought Puck back memories of nine years ago. Quinn was giving birth to Beth and screaming, "You suck you suck _you suck_!" This time, he knew better than to look as his daughter came out of his wife's vagina. "_Fuck you!" _As Rachel tossed back her head, screaming, a baby's cry filled the room. "She's a badass. She shouldn't cry." Puck said.

His daughter seemed to glare at him with the hazel eyes inherited from him.

"Shut the fuck up, Puckerman. She's only crying 'cause she saw your face." Santana said, squeezing Rachel's hand. The nurse calmly asked, "What is your daughters name?" Puck grinned and Rachel smiled and shook her head. "No, Noah. We're not going to name her Badass Puckerman. Remember, we decided on her name two months ago."

_Flashback_

_"How about Puckleberry Puckerman?" Santana suggested. "My daughter's not going to be named after a fucking piece of fruit." Puck argued, momentarily forgetting what Puckleberry was. "Why not? Puckleberry's epic." Santana argued back. Next to her, in Finn's arms, Drizzle Innocence Hudson made a cooeing sound, as if agreeing with her mother. _

_"'Cause you gave your daughter a name that could get her ass kicked when she's older. What happens when she loses her V-card? She won't be so innocent then. And who the hell names their daughter Innocence?" Puck demanded._ _"T__hat's her middle name you asshole. It was my idea, since their needs to be an innocent person thats related to me. She'll kick peoples asses if they screw with her. I'll make her be a nun. They don't get any action." Santana said. _

_"How about you name her Hannah?" Brittany suggested. "Hannah?" Rachel questioned. "Yeah. Hannah Montana reminds me of you. Her show is epic, and when you're singing in your shows, your epic. And you live to different lives. Your the Rachy we know and on stage," Brittany did spirit fingers, "You're Rachel Berry-Puckerman, though they don't say the Puckerman part."_

_Puck looked at Rachel and shrugged. "It's okay, not very badass but..." Rolling her eyes, Rachel playfully hit him. "Hannah's a good name." _

_"Her middle name should be May." Blaine suggested. "You know, since she's due in May." Artie shook his head. "No, there's a slight possibility she would be born in April, or June. What if she's born this month? March isn't a name, well, it qualifies as a last name." _

_"Not if Rachy tells her to be born in May." Brittany said, leaning her head against Artie's shoulder. "I told our baby to wait until June, like the doctors said." Artie nodded, smiling. "He's being a good boy and waiting patiently until then." _

_Rachel giggled and gently patted her belly. "Hannah May Puckerman, you better wait until May to be born!" _

_Flashback ends_

Puck rolled his eyes. "Fine. Her name is Hannah May Puckerman, born on May 7th 2018, and she's going to be a badass!"

**I already am Puck, I already am. Lol, anyway, I'll update next week, maybe tomorrow, I don't know. **


	2. Aunt Santana's little Badass

Puck waited as patiently as he could for the doctors to finish up with his daughter and hand her to him. "Settle the fuck down, Puckerman. Don't act like Finn did when Drizzle was born. The other doctors and nurses thought he was trying to kidnap her, since he kept trying to take her from them." Santana said. "Where is he, anyway?"

"Up your ass, where he usually is." Puck replied, aware of the Latina's sharp glare. "A little diva at last." Kurt cooed, smiling as the doctors handed Hannah to Rachel. "No, she's a badass." Puck argued. Unfazed, Kurt said, "A little badass diva at last. The best part is, she's of Puckerman and Berry descent." Rachel shook her head, smiling. She was tired, but she was not going to give Puck the satisfation of holding their daughter as she slept.

Finn rushed in, carefully staying out of the doctors way. "Here, Rach. Got your tea." He handed her her chai tea with honey. "What took you so long?" Santana snapped, dragging him out of the room. "We got to take advantage of Rach's neighbor babysitting Drizzle. Let's have a quickie in the janitors closet, like we did in high school."

Rachel shook her head. "Even with a daughter, maturing slightly, and being a sucessfully young lawyer, she's still the same."

"That's Satan for you." Puck drawled, taking his daughter and cradling her in his arms. "Good to know I'm hotter and even better at sex than she is." He looked at his daughter. "You can't have a boyfriend until your thirty, and you can't have sex until you're married." Hannah raised a tiny fist in the air, fingers spread out.

"I think she's flipping you off." Kurt said, chuckling. "She doesn't look threatening, Noah. Are you sure she's going to be a badass?" Rachel questioned. "It's called a baby face, Rach. As long as she has it, people will think she's a pussy. When she's older, she's going to be as crazy hot as her mom, and she'll be my little Jewish princess. You're my Jewish queen." In his arms, Hannah seemed to nod. "See," He raised her up so Rachel and Kurt could see better, "Even she knows it."

"What does she know?" Quinn asked, sticking her head in the door and smiling. "Quinn!" Rachel squealed. Quinn came in, followed by Sam, the rest of the old New Directions, and a frazzled looking Santana and Finn. "Ah," Santana said, smiling as her gaze locked on the newborn. "Hand her over, Puckerman." She commanded. Puck pouted-yes, the badass pouted- and handed his daughter to her.

Santana smiled as she held the baby close. "_Soy tu tía Santana. Voy a enseñarle a hablar español y patear culo sin dejar de ser sexy._ _Y te voy a enseñar cómo hacer que los niños caen a sus pies y se postrarán ante ti. Mi sobrina, Hannah." _Still smiling, she raised the baby in the air and shouted, "_Para Hannah! _To Hannah!_ El rudo futuro de la familia Puckerman_! The future badass of the Puckerman family!"

Everybody cheered as tears filled Rachel's eyes. "_Gracias, Santana, que siempre será la tía de Hannah." _Santana smiled and tears filled her own eyes. She had taught her girl well. And she intended to do the same with Hannah. Clutching Hannah close, Santana whispered, "_Usted es poco rudo tía de Santana."_

**Translations: _Soy tu tía Santana. Voy a enseñarle a hablar español y patear culo sin dejar de ser sexy_=I'm your Auntie Santana. I'm going to teach you how to speak spanish and kick ass while still being sexy.**

**_Y te voy a enseñar cómo hacer que los niños caen a sus pies y __se postrarán ante ti_=And I'll teach you how to make boys fall at your feet and worship you.**

_**Mi sobrina, **_**_Hannah_= My niece, Hannah.**

**_Gracias, Santana, que siempre será la tía __de Hannah_=Thank you, Santana, you will always be Hannah's auntie.**

_**Usted es poco rudo tía de Santana= You are Aunt Santana's little badass.**_

**So? Whad'ya think of the new chapter? Short, but I'll work on it. **


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